ASK ALLISON!

Do You Ever Judge Yourself For Using Weed To Combat Anxiety?

Hi Allison, 

I'm a big fan of the JBU podcast, and I've heard you discuss how you use both prescription medications and weed to help treat your mental illnesses (specifically symptoms of anxiety). I've been treated for anxiety, depression, an eating disorder, and PTSD but am not on any medications - but I do use weed to help manage my anxiety.

My question is - do you ever judge yourself for using weed? Normally I don't feel much shame for smoking, I refer to it as my anxiety medication (I've had a medical card in the past). But I had to deal with a pre-employment drug test recently, and the anxiety around passing that test has brought up feelings of shame for me. Made me feel "dirty."

I feel like I would be a good candidate for prescription meds to help with my mental illnesses, but am wary of the side effects. I don't feel ready to risk making my life worse on the path to getting better. But if I do eventually get on meds, will I judge myself even more for also choosing to use weed? I know you can't predict the future but any advice would be so amazing.

Thanks for all that you do, I'm preordering your book today! The JBU podcast has really helped me get out of my head recently - your advice on there is always so wonderfully heartfelt and judgement-free. I can't wait to read a book all from your point of view.

Best, 

Mae

Dear Mae,

Thank you so much for pre-ordering the book and for your continued support of my work. It means more than you know! And when it comes to your main question: Do I judge myself for using weed to treat my anxiety?

Absolutely.

Every single day.

All of the time.

My relationship to weed is one of the most complicated parts of my life and mental health journey. I wish that it wasn’t. There is a large part of me that wanted to reply to this question, “I don’t judge myself for doing what I need to do to manage my mental health and neither should you!” but that would be dishonest. On many levels it freaks me out that I consume some form of marijuana every night unless I am on vacation or ill. I feel afraid that I am addicted. I feel afraid that smoking it is harming me. I feel ashamed for not having a strong enough hold on my nighttime anxiety to not need it. I worry about possibly becoming pregnant one day and not being able to consume it anymore. I worry and I worry, and I don’t share that worry with anyone because I find it shameful.