HOW OFTEN SHOULD I TALK ABOUT MY DEAD MOM?

I guested on a podcast the other week and after a wonderful mix of banter and heartfelt advice, I did what many would consider a serious faux pas. I made a shocking and destructive comment about my mother being dead. Even as it was happening, I had a sense I probably shouldn’t do this. It’s one thing to make that kind of joke when I am on my own podcast because my Just Between Us co-hosts already know 1) my mom is dead and 2) I have an affinity for dark jokes. But these were two women I had just met and hitting them with, “I’m glad my mom is dead, so she didn’t hear me not know what an archipelago is,” was probably too much. Although, in my defense, she was constantly disappointed my lack of geography knowledge.

Since losing my best friend/mother in September, I have struggled to know how often I should bring her up and in what context. In the immediate aftermath of her shocking death from CJD, there was an expectation that she would be the center of conversation. But now that it has been almost seven months without her corporeal form, she clearly isn’t as top of mind for everyone who isn’t me and my immediate family. So do I risk “bringing the mood down” by constantly bringing her up or do I forgo social niceties and say whatever the hell I want?