MAKING MYSELF SICK (WITH UNNECESSARY STRESS)

Last Friday I woke up around 6:30 a.m. with pretty intense stomach pain. I spent the next few hours curled in bed when I wasn’t making trips to the bathroom. My stomach had been off since Wednesday, and I wondered if I’d caught a bug or had some sort of rare disease that might make a good memoir if I were to survive it. But as the day went on and the length of time between waves of pain expanded, it became more and more obvious that I was likely suffering from a stress-induced IBS flare up. Nothing was “wrong” with me other than an inability to calm myself down despite being medicated and in and out of therapy since I was four years old.

I know that mental health is all about the journey and not the destination. I have no illusions that one day I will be completely OCD free or able to handle tight waistbands without sensory issues. But I am getting frustrated (and a bit embarrassed) that I continue to loop through the same worries to the point where it seems to be making me physically sick.