i started watching jbu when i was a baby of 18 and it helped me sm in coming to terms with my anxiety and everything and now im 26 and allisons substack is still a source of wisdom and comfort <3
I've been on this journey too and found it really helpful to read your articulation of it. I think I'm still not quite where you are with it yet - I still tend to by default assume people mean what they say, because I do, and I am so very literal (being autistic). It's been a disillusioning process. Sometimes, I veer more to the cynical side, where it can be hard to even get excited about a promising new project because, my story goes, it'll just end up on the "it never really happened" pile. But this is well justified from experience, because people generally tend to be far flakier than my overly-conscientious, perfectionist, recovering people pleaser tendencies ever allow me to be ;)
I like this a lot: "At a certain point we have to take a leap of faith with the people we want to rely on. One way to determine if they are worthy of that leap is to look at their actions rather than their words. Actions build credibility, while words often show who we want to be rather than who we are."
Your story reminds me a bit of a family vacation I took with my dad and stepmom to Portugal when I was 13. I met some boys around my age and my dad saw me walking with them on the beach around our hotel and he was pissed. He said I shouldn't have told them where we were staying. Funny how we realize later that our parents were right. lol
i started watching jbu when i was a baby of 18 and it helped me sm in coming to terms with my anxiety and everything and now im 26 and allisons substack is still a source of wisdom and comfort <3
This is so amazing to hear! Honored to have been a part of your journey!
I've been on this journey too and found it really helpful to read your articulation of it. I think I'm still not quite where you are with it yet - I still tend to by default assume people mean what they say, because I do, and I am so very literal (being autistic). It's been a disillusioning process. Sometimes, I veer more to the cynical side, where it can be hard to even get excited about a promising new project because, my story goes, it'll just end up on the "it never really happened" pile. But this is well justified from experience, because people generally tend to be far flakier than my overly-conscientious, perfectionist, recovering people pleaser tendencies ever allow me to be ;)
It's jarring to realize that people can operate so differently than we do! But keeping that in mind has been super helpful to me!
Dear Allison,
Great piece!
I like this a lot: "At a certain point we have to take a leap of faith with the people we want to rely on. One way to determine if they are worthy of that leap is to look at their actions rather than their words. Actions build credibility, while words often show who we want to be rather than who we are."
Thank you for sharing!
Love
Myq
Thank you, Myq!
Your story reminds me a bit of a family vacation I took with my dad and stepmom to Portugal when I was 13. I met some boys around my age and my dad saw me walking with them on the beach around our hotel and he was pissed. He said I shouldn't have told them where we were staying. Funny how we realize later that our parents were right. lol
Ha! This is so relatable to me!
Relevant and helpful. Thank you.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Really related to this!
Thank you for reading!!
As I grow older I find myself trusting people a lot less.
I think the balance is still having some people we do trust!