Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Riah's avatar

I'm a fat woman that has always been fat my whole life. I grew up thinking I was ugly and that no one would desire me. Yet, I was taught vanity by my mother and still to this day put a lot of effort into my looks. I would date men I had no attraction to because I thought I couldn't do better. Having other fat friends that embraced themselves and their bodies changed me. They wore crop tops and went out with hot men, why couldn't I?

Last year I told my mom I didn't want a jacket she tried to give me that didn't fit. It almost did but I told her I wasn't going to try to lose weight for an item of clothing to fit me. She couldn't understand why I wouldn't change myself for something. But I do now.

Expand full comment
Sav Sullivan's avatar

In the past I used to think "if I had this, if I looked like this I would be beautiful" and that was desirable and the end of that thought- along with all the negative feelings that come with it. But the older I get the path of that thought continues: "If I had ___ I would be beautiful. And then what? People would like me. And then what... I would feel wanted.. and loved... and I would be happy... And then..." It's freeing because I realize I don't need more of anything because I have love and I give love and in the end if I had everything I wanted it still wouldn't be a promise of happiness. It's also helpful to know it's a societal trap. I can choose to reject it!

Expand full comment
53 more comments...

No posts