As a therapist, I wholly support your taking a break from therapy, & your focus on what you can do to care for yourself that is NOT therapy! As you say, there are many ways to support good mental health, & therapy is only one of them. I also love that you are adding care for your body as a new focus for mental health. I believe many therapists minimize how important caring for our bodies can be, but it is something I constantly encourage my clients to consider—what are you doing to take care of your body? Are you taking a walk, getting a massage, taking vitamins, etc? Depression can rob us of the energy & motivation (& the belief that we are deserving of kindness) of caring well for our bodies. It doesn’t have to be an overwhelming task. We just need to start somewhere, prioritizing love & care for our bodies, as an important part of not only our mental health, but as an important aspect of good quality of life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in this article.
i'm glad that you're being gentle with yourself, challenging negative thoughts, getting out of the house, and generally taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and all the ways possible!
i particularly appreciate the section on "ACCEPTANCE THAT GRIEF IS SUPPOSED TO HURT":
"While my sadness around my mother’s death contradicts society’s obsession with moving forward and instantly turning trauma into growth, it is perfectly normal that less than five months after my mom died I am still severely impacted by her absence."
this makes a LOT of sense!
also, on the subject of your life having "the potential to be good" but that "it will never be as good as when she was here"...
i hear you AND may i offer that it's impossible to know right now how DIFFERENTLY good your life might feel in the future?
for example, if you do have a child at some point, might it not make sense to even ask the question "which part of my life is BETTER, the part with my mother and no child or the part with my child and no mother?"
they say that comparison is the thief of joy, and i wish you all the eventual joy possible, and all the relief you can feel now, and all the care that i can offer, and all the gratitude for the care that you're offering yourself.
i hope this is all okay to say, and feel free to please ignore all non-okay parts!
Yeah I will be going into a therapy break too after this next session due to financial reasons. This post was so helpful and I’m so glad that you are sharing your journey with us!
I lost my grandmother a few months before your own mother passed away. It's been really validating and comforting to read all of your thoughts and feelings on grief, especially because I can see that my mum is going through all the things that you are too. Thank you for your writing 💗
I needed to read this today. Prioritizing mental health isn’t one-size-fits-all, and sometimes, the best thing we can do is listen to what we truly need.
Another therapist chiming in to agree with you that yes, therapy is just one avenue for taking care of yourself! Sometimes a break is far more helpful than constantly working on yourself.
I especially loved the part where you speak about honouring your grief rather than trying to outrun it💜
Yep, diet, exercise, sleep and social interaction are incredibly important for our own mental health. And sometimes, therapy is too much or just not for right now. Sending you a hug!
I see what you mean. Who wants someone else to tell you what to do and how to feel? I personally do go to therapy for a short period of time, but initially, it can be draining.
As a therapist, I wholly support your taking a break from therapy, & your focus on what you can do to care for yourself that is NOT therapy! As you say, there are many ways to support good mental health, & therapy is only one of them. I also love that you are adding care for your body as a new focus for mental health. I believe many therapists minimize how important caring for our bodies can be, but it is something I constantly encourage my clients to consider—what are you doing to take care of your body? Are you taking a walk, getting a massage, taking vitamins, etc? Depression can rob us of the energy & motivation (& the belief that we are deserving of kindness) of caring well for our bodies. It doesn’t have to be an overwhelming task. We just need to start somewhere, prioritizing love & care for our bodies, as an important part of not only our mental health, but as an important aspect of good quality of life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in this article.
Thank you so much for sharing this! We so often forget the body part and it's a crucial piece of the puzzle! <3 A
Honestly so helpful to hear the ways other people take care of themselves! Gives me ideas for things I might not be doing currently!
I'm so glad it was helpful! xoxo A
Really needed to read this one today 🤍
Sending love and thank you for reading <3
Sometimes listening to ourselves is the best therapy that we need at the time. After all, who knows us better than ourselves.
So true!
Another brilliant article
Thank you so much <3
dear allison,
thank you for sharing this!
i'm glad that you're being gentle with yourself, challenging negative thoughts, getting out of the house, and generally taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and all the ways possible!
i particularly appreciate the section on "ACCEPTANCE THAT GRIEF IS SUPPOSED TO HURT":
"While my sadness around my mother’s death contradicts society’s obsession with moving forward and instantly turning trauma into growth, it is perfectly normal that less than five months after my mom died I am still severely impacted by her absence."
this makes a LOT of sense!
also, on the subject of your life having "the potential to be good" but that "it will never be as good as when she was here"...
i hear you AND may i offer that it's impossible to know right now how DIFFERENTLY good your life might feel in the future?
for example, if you do have a child at some point, might it not make sense to even ask the question "which part of my life is BETTER, the part with my mother and no child or the part with my child and no mother?"
they say that comparison is the thief of joy, and i wish you all the eventual joy possible, and all the relief you can feel now, and all the care that i can offer, and all the gratitude for the care that you're offering yourself.
i hope this is all okay to say, and feel free to please ignore all non-okay parts!
i love you!
thank you again for sharing all of this!
myq
Thank you so much, Myq!
Yeah I will be going into a therapy break too after this next session due to financial reasons. This post was so helpful and I’m so glad that you are sharing your journey with us!
Sending love <3 A
So so proud of you! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Thank you Maya!
I lost my grandmother a few months before your own mother passed away. It's been really validating and comforting to read all of your thoughts and feelings on grief, especially because I can see that my mum is going through all the things that you are too. Thank you for your writing 💗
Sending you all the love and may her memory be a blessing <3 A
I needed to read this today. Prioritizing mental health isn’t one-size-fits-all, and sometimes, the best thing we can do is listen to what we truly need.
Agreed!! xoxo A
Another therapist chiming in to agree with you that yes, therapy is just one avenue for taking care of yourself! Sometimes a break is far more helpful than constantly working on yourself.
I especially loved the part where you speak about honouring your grief rather than trying to outrun it💜
Thank you so much!! I really appreciate you sharing your perspective as a therapist on this! xoxo A
Needed to read this today.
Sending love <3
Yep, diet, exercise, sleep and social interaction are incredibly important for our own mental health. And sometimes, therapy is too much or just not for right now. Sending you a hug!
Thank you!! xoxo A
Thank you for sharing another insightful, lovely post @allison!
Thank you so much for reading <3 A
I see what you mean. Who wants someone else to tell you what to do and how to feel? I personally do go to therapy for a short period of time, but initially, it can be draining.