26 Comments
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Paola's avatar

I didn’t think this would be so relatable to someone who actively cut out a parent. But the grief you shared about is exactly how I felt last year too. Thanks For sharing this, I was able to recant my own struggles and learn to live with my past self and love that I am stronger now because of it.

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Allison Raskin's avatar

I'm so glad it was (surprisingly) relatable! So proud of all the work you are clearly doing to prioritize your well being. Sending so much love xoxo

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Maxine's avatar

I can’t even begin to tell you how much you sharing your story has helped me process my own abandonment. I’ve so often thought back to how I felt right after it happened, how I begged him on the phone to explain why this was happening and only getting that vague answer that he didn’t feel like he was in love with me anymore after almost 4 years of being together. That past me was so destroyed and heartbroken, but I am so proud of myself for getting through it and coming out of it loving myself more and making space for that hurt when it comes back up again. I’m so proud of you, too, and of this community that you’ve brought together. Thank you. ❤️

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Allison Raskin's avatar

This is so beautifully put! Especially the part about "making space for that hurt when it comes back up again." I'm so sorry you've gone through a similar experience but I'm really glad we can lean on each other and not feel so alone in the experience. xoxo A

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Abby's avatar

Thank you for posting this. I am two weeks post break up and it comes in waves. Watching your journey has sincerely helped me hold on to the things that bring me joy right now.

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Allison Raskin's avatar

I'm so glad to hear that! It definitely comes in waves. All we can hope is that we getting better at riding them xoxo

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Sarah's avatar

That was an important read for me. Thanks Allison, you’re a bad ass bitch xoxo

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Thank you for reading!! xoxo

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Megan Fisher's avatar

I also found my post break up journal this weekend. Had no desire to read it. Straight in the trash it went and then I kept tidying up.

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Love that for you!! xoxo

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Nani Nassar's avatar

You rock! thanks for sharing your story and for making all these articles public!

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Thanks so much for reading!! xoxo

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Jacqueline's avatar

Loved reading this. The work you keep putting in even at the hardest time is beyond inspiring and just reading about your progress and strength makes me believe I can be strong too, so thank you for sharing both the good and the bad and all the in between💜

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Allison Raskin's avatar

I don't find it helpful to share the good if you don't share the bad too! Sending so much love as we both continue to surprise ourselves with strength! xoxo

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Kails444's avatar

I love this so much. You go, girl! You rock!

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Thank you!!! xoxo

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Christian's avatar

Wow this is beautiful, I too am very proud of you 💙

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Thank you so much!! xoxo

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Jane Godiner's avatar

Chills all over. Thank you for this amazing piece, Allison!

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Thanks so much for reading!! xoxo

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Sarah's avatar

I can't help but be bothered that you threw away outdoor equipment! That stuff is so expensive and I'm sure there are groups in your area that are trying to make having the necessary gear more accessible for people who can't afford it.

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Abby's avatar

Sometimes we have to do things we normally wouldn’t for the sake of our mental health.

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Lorena H.'s avatar

Piggy backing off this, I understand that this was a response for self-preservation (and understand this was replaceable on his part i.e. not an heirloom / sentimental), but it makes me so sad to know that this could've been donated to a woman's shelter or to a non-profit that works with supplying the unhoused. This awful experience could've been reframed it as something positive.

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Sarah's avatar

That's a great articulation of what I was trying to say, and an even more worthy use of outdoor gear! And I've also been packing up everything and understand the feeling where things just have to go right now. Maybe now that the moment is passed it would nice to make a monetary donation to somewhere that could've used the gear (of course assuming one has the means).

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Jen's avatar

Hi allison! Would you please write what you actively have done in the first 3 months that have helped you to get over the breakup this fast? I just broke up and the pain is so overwhelming to feel.

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Feb 8, 2022
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Allison Raskin's avatar

SO important to remember! Being able to hold onto that has been one of the biggest changes for me in recent years! xox A

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