One of the worst things I heard after being abandoned by my ex-fiancé was that maybe this experience would teach me something I needed to know. I understood that people were saying this with the best of intentions, but it rubbed me the wrong way because, at that stage, I had learned enough. I had already done so much work on myself both as an individual and as a partner before he walked out. I didn’t need a huge character arc at that time in my life. I just wanted some peace and stability. It also bumped up against my resistance to spin everything as a potential positive. Sometimes shitty things just happen. Our ability to thrive afterward doesn’t retroactively make the shitty thing necessary or ultimately good for us.
SORTING THROUGH THE WRECKAGE
One of the worst things I heard after being abandoned by my ex-fiancé was that maybe this experience would teach me something I needed to know. I understood that people were saying this with the best of intentions, but it rubbed me the wrong way because, at that stage, I had learned enough. I had already done so much work on myself both as an individual and as a partner before he walked out. I didn’t need a huge character arc at that time in my life. I just wanted some peace and stability. It also bumped up against my resistance to spin everything as a potential positive. Sometimes shitty things just happen. Our ability to thrive afterward doesn’t retroactively make the shitty thing necessary or ultimately good for us.
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