22 Comments
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Vivika's avatar

Ahh Allison, this was so so good!!! I didn’t realize it was fiction until the disclaimer at the end 😭 But I love your imagining of how this moment could go and your decision to ultimately not engage. My first ex, who also deeply hurt and abandoned me (but at the age of 15), recently reached out to me and apologized to me over the phone, something I never thought would happen, which goes to show how people can change - but I would never have approached him in a coffee shop, either (also the situations are completely different, no intention to compare them)! Also, the ugly shoes are so funny. Thank you for sharing with us ❤️

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Allison Raskin's avatar

I'm so glad you enjoyed it!! And here's to a belated apology! Love that! xoxo A

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lou t's avatar

"He was now a stranger. And she had no need to talk to a stranger. "

Love the ending. The whole build up and flow of the story almost got me to tears. You really captured the raw emotion of the moment.

"So, she went back to her coffee as an ugly pair of neon shoes walked away"

but that made me chuckle, you almost got me to cry (ok! maybe I did shed a tear), but you got me to smile at the very end. (cheesy but true)

This is my first time here, I clicked the link for the charming cartoon and oh boy, I was not expecting to feel like this so late at night. Idk how to put it into words, but I feel lighter. Like when you arrive home after a long day. The thing is, I didn't have a bad day, and yet I feel the same kind of ease you get when you finally can rest. (does that make sense?)

anyway, I couldn't ask for a better way to end my day. I'm hook and looking forward for more

In the meantime, it looks like I have a lot to catch up on.

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Oh wow! I'm so glad you clicked!! Thanks for giving it a chance! I'm so happy it resonated with you! I'm excited to share more! xoxo A

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Katie's avatar

This is beautifully written, made me cry (in a good way). Can’t wait for more of your fiction writing!

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Thank you so much, Katie!!

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Melinda Gayle's avatar

This is genius. An excellent examination of what it's like to see an ex who has moved on, to feel the pain of seeing a stranger in what was once a friend.

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Thank you!!

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Melinda Gayle's avatar

Welcome!

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Paris's avatar

Wow, this was fantastic. Deeply relatable like a Taylor Swift song. A beautiful piece of writing

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Oh my gosh! The greatest comparison possible! Thank you!!

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Vaishnavu's avatar

Ohmygod this was so great!! Sobbing <3 more power to you- I’m claiming this as my fictional closure too please :)

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Yesss! I love that idea! xox A

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Mariana Caldas's avatar

I love your ability to describe feelings through words in a way that gives them such intensity. I could feel what the woman was feeling and what a ride it was! 💜

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Ahh that makes me so happy it felt that way! Thank you for reading!!

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Laura's avatar

Ngl this had my heart racing

Relatable as ever!!

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Yesss! Love that!!

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Kerry's avatar

So excited for you to be sharing a new medium with the ESL community! I really loved how the woman in the story got lost in thought, thinking about her past and cursing her ex and then she abruptly comes back into her body when she realises he's standing up to leave! That was a really cool way of giving backstory and then bringing the reader back into the present! Thanks for trusting us with your fiction! Xx

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Thank you so much Kerry! I'm so glad the structure worked since it was a new approach for me! xoxo A

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Megan's avatar

love this!!

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Allison Raskin's avatar

Thank you!!

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Stan Gould's avatar

Too long and wordy. I found my jumping ahead by skipping sentences and paragraphs. //Stan//

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