"Marriage is a tricky thing because you are both building a life together and maintaining your own sense of self."
"I know enough to know that what I have been experiencing is nothing compared to what he’s had to process inside his own brain and heart. And perhaps more importantly, I also know it’s not my job to make it all better. This is not my burden to bear. But it is my burden to help hold when it gets too heavy for one person."
As someone who always wanted to write for television but is now transitioning into being a teacher, this hit really hard! I’d love to hear more of your thoughts about dreams vs. practical choices as I try to find the sweet middle ground in my own life. Thanks for sharing <3
It's something I think about so much!! When are we allowed to pivot without beating ourselves up?? Sending love and congratulations on the new path!! xoxo A
I’ve been going through the exact same thing as John, I got as far as I ever had with my latest show right before the strike, had a show set up and casted and everything and the strike took it out. It has been so painful every time someone asks me what’s going on with it and all i can really say now is it’s dead in the water. So sorry to hear you’re dealing with this too. Such an insanely hard time in our industry.
Thank you Allison, this is such a poignant look into the nuances and complexities of marriage and supporting a partner. I've found the balancing act of "buildling a life together and maintaining your own self of self" to be extremely tricky, too.
Thank you so much for writing this piece and thank you John for being so vulnerable and sharing with us. As someone who has stood by my husband for times of unemployment twice in the 10 years we’ve been together I felt this newsletter deeply. The palpable need to make it better and change everything, earn all the money in the world just so the other person can live their dream can be crushing and is also so fruitless. We cannot change the world, we cannot make people give our loved ones all the opportunities we know they are so deserving of and that hurts. But everything you said is true, a good partnership means sitting in this discomfort and not taking it out on each other, not trying to jump ahead and make decisions for the other person, because respecting your partner also means letting them grieve and then choose a way forward on their own terms. All we can do is bear witness and be the shoulder they get to lean on when it gets to heavy.
I am so sorry that happened to John! And the premise does sound fantastic. It is so sad to think about all the great original ideas we will never see because of circumstances and the networks prioritizing reboots. I am sure he will find a way to grieve and continue creating in due time. On the plus side, he now knows the interenet is rooting for him, so that might cheer him up a bit. And we don't have to! We do it because we empathise and want the best for you all, so its not just a pity "poor john"
dear allison,
thank you (AND JOHN) for sharing this.
some pieces from today's piece that i love:
"sometimes I try to outsource my brainstorming"
"Marriage is a tricky thing because you are both building a life together and maintaining your own sense of self."
"I know enough to know that what I have been experiencing is nothing compared to what he’s had to process inside his own brain and heart. And perhaps more importantly, I also know it’s not my job to make it all better. This is not my burden to bear. But it is my burden to help hold when it gets too heavy for one person."
thank you both for sharing this with all of us.
much love,
myq
Thank you Myq!!
As someone who always wanted to write for television but is now transitioning into being a teacher, this hit really hard! I’d love to hear more of your thoughts about dreams vs. practical choices as I try to find the sweet middle ground in my own life. Thanks for sharing <3
It's something I think about so much!! When are we allowed to pivot without beating ourselves up?? Sending love and congratulations on the new path!! xoxo A
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Sometimes the best way to support someone is to be there for them.
Agreed!
Oi so relatable!
> But one thing I do need to be careful about is not expecting him to behave the same way I would in his situation.
This! I’ve been mulling over a similar thing recently. Thanks for sharing ❤️
So glad it was helpful!! xoxo A
I’ve been going through the exact same thing as John, I got as far as I ever had with my latest show right before the strike, had a show set up and casted and everything and the strike took it out. It has been so painful every time someone asks me what’s going on with it and all i can really say now is it’s dead in the water. So sorry to hear you’re dealing with this too. Such an insanely hard time in our industry.
ooof Hilary I am so sorry!! It's a bananas time. But we keep going (I guess!! haha)
Thank you Allison, this is such a poignant look into the nuances and complexities of marriage and supporting a partner. I've found the balancing act of "buildling a life together and maintaining your own self of self" to be extremely tricky, too.
Thank you so much for writing this piece and thank you John for being so vulnerable and sharing with us. As someone who has stood by my husband for times of unemployment twice in the 10 years we’ve been together I felt this newsletter deeply. The palpable need to make it better and change everything, earn all the money in the world just so the other person can live their dream can be crushing and is also so fruitless. We cannot change the world, we cannot make people give our loved ones all the opportunities we know they are so deserving of and that hurts. But everything you said is true, a good partnership means sitting in this discomfort and not taking it out on each other, not trying to jump ahead and make decisions for the other person, because respecting your partner also means letting them grieve and then choose a way forward on their own terms. All we can do is bear witness and be the shoulder they get to lean on when it gets to heavy.
I am so sorry that happened to John! And the premise does sound fantastic. It is so sad to think about all the great original ideas we will never see because of circumstances and the networks prioritizing reboots. I am sure he will find a way to grieve and continue creating in due time. On the plus side, he now knows the interenet is rooting for him, so that might cheer him up a bit. And we don't have to! We do it because we empathise and want the best for you all, so its not just a pity "poor john"