On Sunday morning, I woke up and finally finished a literature review for my research methods grad school class. The assignment had been hanging over my head for a week as I tried my best to understand confusing peer reviewed journal articles and synthesize research findings into original and thoughtful takeaways. I hated every minute of it. The whole process filled me with fear that I wasn’t smart enough and anger that I had to do something that made me feel so terrible. You would think the moment I finished I’d be flooded with relief. It was only 2 p.m. and I still had a good amount of my Sunday to relax and unwind. Instead, I didn’t really know what to do with myself.
Yes! It surprises me that I have to learn how to relax properly when it used to just came so naturally. Perhaps I’m not actually resting so my mind stays restless even while I’m having a break, which makes me even more frustrated that I’m not actually resting when I should be, and I have to get back to work after the break whether I did feel recharged or not. It’s kinda like insomnia now that I think about it.
having a regular hobby that isn't watching TV is something I keep meaning to attempt and then I just end up on my phone with a show in the background again. starting feels intimidating but this is a good inspiration!
Oh the irony of needing to "do the work" to figure out how to relax and have fun (fun? what is this concept of real FUN?!!). I feel this a lot!
Allison, I would also be curious to hear your experience with working while simultaneously going back to school. How did you navigate that? I find myself wanting to attend classes/workshops to make some big pivots in my life, and the primary worry I have is that I won't have the time or energy to hold my job while working towards something completely different from my job that's really important to me. The thought of my "free time" being taken away from me, my relaxation time decreasing, is horrifying.
This is so me. I've experienced this throughout grad school and even after completing school. I've experienced so much that it became my reality. So glad you talked about it!
I am experiencing this so deeply at the moment and it's exactly what I spoke about in my last therapy session. I have no idea how to relax anymore. It's so relieving to hear someone else experiencing it. Gotta train that brain to switch off. Thanks for sharing Alison xoxo
Yes! It surprises me that I have to learn how to relax properly when it used to just came so naturally. Perhaps I’m not actually resting so my mind stays restless even while I’m having a break, which makes me even more frustrated that I’m not actually resting when I should be, and I have to get back to work after the break whether I did feel recharged or not. It’s kinda like insomnia now that I think about it.
having a regular hobby that isn't watching TV is something I keep meaning to attempt and then I just end up on my phone with a show in the background again. starting feels intimidating but this is a good inspiration!
Indeed. Being unproductive often takes as much time and effort, if not more, than being productive does.
Oh the irony of needing to "do the work" to figure out how to relax and have fun (fun? what is this concept of real FUN?!!). I feel this a lot!
Allison, I would also be curious to hear your experience with working while simultaneously going back to school. How did you navigate that? I find myself wanting to attend classes/workshops to make some big pivots in my life, and the primary worry I have is that I won't have the time or energy to hold my job while working towards something completely different from my job that's really important to me. The thought of my "free time" being taken away from me, my relaxation time decreasing, is horrifying.
This is so me. I've experienced this throughout grad school and even after completing school. I've experienced so much that it became my reality. So glad you talked about it!
I am experiencing this so deeply at the moment and it's exactly what I spoke about in my last therapy session. I have no idea how to relax anymore. It's so relieving to hear someone else experiencing it. Gotta train that brain to switch off. Thanks for sharing Alison xoxo
Super relevant for me!