TW: Suicidal Ideation Some days I have dark thoughts. I’ll think things like, “Everything sucks, and I suck.” Or even worse, “I don’t want to live anymore.” The thoughts themselves aren’t surprising because I grew up with them. Dark thoughts used to be such a regular part of my life that even the most disturbing content doesn’t shock me. What is surprising is the difference of their impact now that I’m in a better mental place.
This is a really helpful perspective, thank you so much for sharing. I really needed to read this. I often feel defeated and then let that defeat me, and then feel bad about it, somehow placing the blame on myself when there’s no blame to be given out really. But I really agree with this and am going to work to reinforce these kinds of thoughts, especially this part: “Because, at least for me, it is through the process of living that I show myself why it is worth it and how I don’t actually suck.”
It's affirming to read this!!!! And a great reminder/encouragement for me to continue/resume working on this, too. A while ago I was trying to adopt a practice of treating my emotions as information, and not piling on guilt/shame/judgement for how I am feeling, but I think I just ran out of steam to keep pushing myself in that way. Upon reflection, I did find managing my reactions to my emotions and mental state to be one of the most helpful things to do while I am struggling to find professional help due to my financial situation. Thanks for this reminder and your generosity in all that you share about your life and experience/mental health!
This is a really helpful perspective, thank you so much for sharing. I really needed to read this. I often feel defeated and then let that defeat me, and then feel bad about it, somehow placing the blame on myself when there’s no blame to be given out really. But I really agree with this and am going to work to reinforce these kinds of thoughts, especially this part: “Because, at least for me, it is through the process of living that I show myself why it is worth it and how I don’t actually suck.”
It's affirming to read this!!!! And a great reminder/encouragement for me to continue/resume working on this, too. A while ago I was trying to adopt a practice of treating my emotions as information, and not piling on guilt/shame/judgement for how I am feeling, but I think I just ran out of steam to keep pushing myself in that way. Upon reflection, I did find managing my reactions to my emotions and mental state to be one of the most helpful things to do while I am struggling to find professional help due to my financial situation. Thanks for this reminder and your generosity in all that you share about your life and experience/mental health!