I’m so happy for you! As a person who has struggled with an ED for most of her life and a 2024 bride, this is so inspirational to read. I’ve been hearing the voices in my brain get louder saying “it won’t hurt to do this for only a year.” But I want to enjoy my engagement, and I know how one year of restriction can turn into a miserable next decade. I hope I can be strong and stand my ground too! 💪🏼 💜
“The fear of not being thin is no longer strong enough to consume me and change my behavior. And to me, that is a victory.” Fuck yeah!!! We can’t judge ourselves for every thought we have but not succumbing to the pressure is still something pretty incredible. Living in a fatphobic world is hard. Thank you for modeling how to give ourselves grace.
I am so happy for you :) This was a joy to read and I will return to this post when I need it as my own relationship with my body goes through continuous ups and downs <3
love it!! i gained about 15 pounds after starting birth control and despite years of taking in information about fatphobia and diet culture, it feels so ingrained to immediately panic when old clothes no longer fit. continuing to read/listen to body positive/neutral content is def helpful but it would be great if there were simply an off switch to societal BS in the brain!
This was an important post on self esteem. Having a positive relationship with oneself is so powerful, and congratulations on hitting they threshold. I’ve put on weight since I’ve had my kids, and I realize I don’t care all that much. That’s likely my privilege as a man.
But when it comes to money, I still have the same deep rooted insecurity I’ve had since childhood that sends me into a panic. Even though I’m in a much different financial situation, the smallest setback sends me into a spiral.
Working hard in therapy to work through this. I would love to get to a place where it didn’t have this power over me.
Thanks for sharing (especially on the internet which can be a pit of anti fat bias and body shame). Two of my friends are planning their wedding this year and have found its far more linked to external pressures and opinions than expected (even in a queer wedding context with some reinvented sections). I think these are things facing a lot of people getting married, and particularly brides. I really appreciate your honestly and view point on this. Like you mention, controlling all our thoughts can be a long term/ unachievable level, but aiming to act on the less bias thoughts and continue learning can be very worthwhile.
I’m so happy for you! As a person who has struggled with an ED for most of her life and a 2024 bride, this is so inspirational to read. I’ve been hearing the voices in my brain get louder saying “it won’t hurt to do this for only a year.” But I want to enjoy my engagement, and I know how one year of restriction can turn into a miserable next decade. I hope I can be strong and stand my ground too! 💪🏼 💜
That voice is so annoying but we don't have to listen to it!! Sending so much love! Can't wait for your big day!!! A
“The fear of not being thin is no longer strong enough to consume me and change my behavior. And to me, that is a victory.” Fuck yeah!!! We can’t judge ourselves for every thought we have but not succumbing to the pressure is still something pretty incredible. Living in a fatphobic world is hard. Thank you for modeling how to give ourselves grace.
Learning not to judge myself for a thought was so huge!! Thank you for sharing! xoxo A
Absolutely amazing progress and I hope you feel insane amounts of joy on and around your wedding day! So happy for you!!
Thank you so much!!!
This is a huge huge victory!
Thank you!!!!
I am so happy for you :) This was a joy to read and I will return to this post when I need it as my own relationship with my body goes through continuous ups and downs <3
I'm so glad it resonated! xoxo A
Fully relate (except for the wedding part haha)! Thanks for reminding me of the mental progress I’ve made with this as well! 🩵
It's so important to take the time to notice it!! xoxo A
I think that this is so cool Allison! I've know people who have and I think it made the wedding ultimately more stressful for them.
I definitely didn't want it to be (more) stressful!! It's meant to be a celebration!
GO ALLISON!! Congrats on your marriage, your mental health victories, and your super awesome substack! We are all CHEERING for you 🥰
Thank you so much!!!
love it!! i gained about 15 pounds after starting birth control and despite years of taking in information about fatphobia and diet culture, it feels so ingrained to immediately panic when old clothes no longer fit. continuing to read/listen to body positive/neutral content is def helpful but it would be great if there were simply an off switch to societal BS in the brain!
Ugh I know! I'm hopeful that it will get easier with time, but it's nice to know even if it doesn't we don't have to give in to it! xoxo A
This was an important post on self esteem. Having a positive relationship with oneself is so powerful, and congratulations on hitting they threshold. I’ve put on weight since I’ve had my kids, and I realize I don’t care all that much. That’s likely my privilege as a man.
But when it comes to money, I still have the same deep rooted insecurity I’ve had since childhood that sends me into a panic. Even though I’m in a much different financial situation, the smallest setback sends me into a spiral.
Working hard in therapy to work through this. I would love to get to a place where it didn’t have this power over me.
Thank you for sharing this! There are definitely a bunch of societal messages that aren't serving us outside of fat phobia!
Thank you for writing this. I got happy goosebumps reading it
Oh I'm so glad it resonated!!
Thanks for sharing (especially on the internet which can be a pit of anti fat bias and body shame). Two of my friends are planning their wedding this year and have found its far more linked to external pressures and opinions than expected (even in a queer wedding context with some reinvented sections). I think these are things facing a lot of people getting married, and particularly brides. I really appreciate your honestly and view point on this. Like you mention, controlling all our thoughts can be a long term/ unachievable level, but aiming to act on the less bias thoughts and continue learning can be very worthwhile.
It's wild how far reaching the pressure is! But our actions matter more than trying to prevent ingrained thoughts! xoxo A
I relate fully and I'm really freaking happy for you. I hope you're having a very joyful august - or at least a very cozy and curious one!
thank you so much!!
dear allison,
this is beautiful! congratulations for all of it!
love,
myq
Thank you Myq!!
Love this!! And I can't wait to hear all about your wedding day (if you feel comfortable sharing)! ♥️
Oh, you know I will!! xoxo A
So happy for you Allison!! Congratulations!!
Thank you!!