Congratulations on this achievement!! Regardless of how it impacts the rest of your life, you put a lot of work into this and have succeeded in a goal which is always worth celebrating 🥳
I think in the last few years I’ve learned that humans are more resilient than I thought! We have managed to survive a global pandemic (the lucky of us, anyway) and return to life as if any part of this is normal. Our capacity to continue living in the aftermath of something like that gives me hope. 💜
Congratulations Allison!! 🥳 What a huge, major, awesome accomplishment. Especially considering how challenging it was at times (just from what I’ve heard you say on JBU) it is so impressive and inspiring that you persevered and are wrapping up this chapter. Just as a side note, hearing your thoughts and your answers to international questions on JBU has seriously changed the way I think (very much for the better) and has made me a better communicator, friend, and partner. I’ve been listening since the OG YouTube days (loving the new couch talks) and I have so much admiration and appreciation for you. Thank you for the awesome energy you bring and for all of the amazing insights! 💗
Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for this!! It's so wonderful to remember that as I learn new things, I'm able to share them with everyone else too! Sending so much love and I'm honored to be a part of your journey xoxo A
this is so great! you have gleaned a lot of value from your studies! thank you for sharing all of this!
with respect to this:
"People won’t remember what you say as much as how you made them feel. Learning this helped me take the pressure off myself to always say the “right” thing. If I show up for people and I listen and I let them know I care, they will (hopefully) remember that supportive energy more than whatever words fumble out of my mouth."
100%! sometimes we think there IS a "right" thing to say when the right thing might be to listen. or to say a lot less than we think. (says a guy saying a lot of things right now.)
also, i love these nuggets and your expansions on them:
"Our families are like cults"
"so much good can be done by focusing on prevention"
"Every romantic relationship is an intercultural relationship"
"Insight alone doesn’t solve problems." (a beautiful insight!)
Congratulations!! What an accomplishment, no matter what!
"Insight alone doesn’t solve problems. There is often a big focus on “why we are the way we are” and while that can be an important part of the process, understanding yourself doesn’t provide you with coping mechanisms, interpersonal skills or the ability to emotionally regulate." Unsurprisingly (I've said this in your comments section before lol) this has been my biggest takeaway in recent years. I spent so long working on insight thinking if I could just unearth why I was the way I was I could fix it, but while it has helped tremendously I've had to shift to actively working on learning the rest. Like, okay, now I know! Time to do better!
The other biggest realization for me is how hard it really is. I know a lot and have made so much progress but still feel like there is a ceiling on how far I can heal that I am desperate to break through. Like I thought if I wanted to get better I would as I read/did therapy/learned. And I have, to an extent, but lizard brain and old patterns and wounds run DEEP, far deeper than I realized. I think I can get there, but it won't look the way I thought. I definitely bought into the myth that healing was a destination and not a lifelong journey.
Thank you for these insights! Now I don't have to get a master's degree in pyschology! lol jk. But actually on this topic, I used to think college was a waste of time (and totally get if others still agree), but many years later (i graduated 12 years ago), I have come to see it as much more relevant! (Getting assignments, and self-managing your time to complete it is what I do now on an every day basis with more stakes :D. Before, in school, it was low stakes because it only affected me and my grade, but now my work affects me in how I get paid and also how well others' projects turn out, so how they get paid, etc!) So even if you don't see a lot of benefit today, it's possible you will see the benefits in years to come!
Congratulations on this achievement!! Regardless of how it impacts the rest of your life, you put a lot of work into this and have succeeded in a goal which is always worth celebrating 🥳
I think in the last few years I’ve learned that humans are more resilient than I thought! We have managed to survive a global pandemic (the lucky of us, anyway) and return to life as if any part of this is normal. Our capacity to continue living in the aftermath of something like that gives me hope. 💜
I love this insight!! Thank you so much for sharing and for the congratulations!! It was a goal and there is so much power in that! xoox A
Congratulations Allison!! 🥳 What a huge, major, awesome accomplishment. Especially considering how challenging it was at times (just from what I’ve heard you say on JBU) it is so impressive and inspiring that you persevered and are wrapping up this chapter. Just as a side note, hearing your thoughts and your answers to international questions on JBU has seriously changed the way I think (very much for the better) and has made me a better communicator, friend, and partner. I’ve been listening since the OG YouTube days (loving the new couch talks) and I have so much admiration and appreciation for you. Thank you for the awesome energy you bring and for all of the amazing insights! 💗
Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for this!! It's so wonderful to remember that as I learn new things, I'm able to share them with everyone else too! Sending so much love and I'm honored to be a part of your journey xoxo A
dear allison,
this is so great! you have gleaned a lot of value from your studies! thank you for sharing all of this!
with respect to this:
"People won’t remember what you say as much as how you made them feel. Learning this helped me take the pressure off myself to always say the “right” thing. If I show up for people and I listen and I let them know I care, they will (hopefully) remember that supportive energy more than whatever words fumble out of my mouth."
100%! sometimes we think there IS a "right" thing to say when the right thing might be to listen. or to say a lot less than we think. (says a guy saying a lot of things right now.)
also, i love these nuggets and your expansions on them:
"Our families are like cults"
"so much good can be done by focusing on prevention"
"Every romantic relationship is an intercultural relationship"
"Insight alone doesn’t solve problems." (a beautiful insight!)
thank you for sharing all of this!
love,
myq
This is one of my faves you've done. It's given me a lot to reflect on, thank u for that!
Oh I'm so glad!! xoxo A
Congratulations!! What an accomplishment, no matter what!
"Insight alone doesn’t solve problems. There is often a big focus on “why we are the way we are” and while that can be an important part of the process, understanding yourself doesn’t provide you with coping mechanisms, interpersonal skills or the ability to emotionally regulate." Unsurprisingly (I've said this in your comments section before lol) this has been my biggest takeaway in recent years. I spent so long working on insight thinking if I could just unearth why I was the way I was I could fix it, but while it has helped tremendously I've had to shift to actively working on learning the rest. Like, okay, now I know! Time to do better!
The other biggest realization for me is how hard it really is. I know a lot and have made so much progress but still feel like there is a ceiling on how far I can heal that I am desperate to break through. Like I thought if I wanted to get better I would as I read/did therapy/learned. And I have, to an extent, but lizard brain and old patterns and wounds run DEEP, far deeper than I realized. I think I can get there, but it won't look the way I thought. I definitely bought into the myth that healing was a destination and not a lifelong journey.
Thank you for these insights! Now I don't have to get a master's degree in pyschology! lol jk. But actually on this topic, I used to think college was a waste of time (and totally get if others still agree), but many years later (i graduated 12 years ago), I have come to see it as much more relevant! (Getting assignments, and self-managing your time to complete it is what I do now on an every day basis with more stakes :D. Before, in school, it was low stakes because it only affected me and my grade, but now my work affects me in how I get paid and also how well others' projects turn out, so how they get paid, etc!) So even if you don't see a lot of benefit today, it's possible you will see the benefits in years to come!