I think a part of this could also be trusting your future self to bounce back if something goes wrong. Future you can take action even if present you doesn’t
Absolutely relate to so much of this, especially as a full time writer in a very expensive city who has been used to having to always have financial contingency plans (and who doesn't like to cook so has Postmates/Grubhub/all the things on modern day speed dial. For what it's worth, it sounds like you've had lots of things on your plate for a really long time and you're ready for a little spaciousness in your work so perhaps see if you can give yourself some of that. The rest will unfold. Also for what it's worth, I've tried to shift my inner thoughts to "could" instead of "should" ... as in, "my friend wants to hang out, and I could ..." For whatever reason the language helps me make the decision more clearly from the heart in that moment instead of in fear of what it means for the future if I do or don't.
very resonant! --> "How much should I be preparing for the future versus enjoying the present?"
very funny! --> "Everyone says that no one wishes on their death bed that they worked more, but what if mine is very uncomfortable and filthy because I was reckless?"
very resonant AND funny! --> "Basically, do I let myself enjoy the present or do I push myself to prepare for a future that might not even happen if I suddenly die (or my books become a success)?"
very reasonable (and resonant)! --> "When I think ahead to these next few months, the thing I want most for myself is to not be worried all the time"
I loved this newsletter Allison! It really hit a nerve for me, as I navigate starting a corporate job for the first time in my life. This job of course comes with more financial stability that I’ve had in a long time, it also requires me to think about retirement planning already (yea that’s how the German system works haha) but it also leads me to be able to spend more money on fun things that make me happy in the moment. I really loved the balance you struck in the end and I also understood all the thoughts that went into finding tjis balance.
Usually I have tussled with the idea of my longevity and how it comes to spending my money.
Lately, spending money AND having doordash, etc are luxuries that I hope I don't overuse from outside perspective. Currently the Internet is very viable for me or at least to live a comfortable livelihood - one of which everyone should deserve in this day of age.
This is something I think about a lot!!! I love what you say here: "I can cancel on a friend but reschedule the next week. I can take one day off but not two. I can spend money without spending all my money." Really helps me reframe my own thoughts on this topic :)
i'm 63 and alter-abled from a stroke and have an aspie partner who cooks but is miserable with a broken tooth that they need to sit and fark around for a few hours after giving me a hit but before breakfast.
we've been eating ledtover thai and stale cookies for a week
I think a part of this could also be trusting your future self to bounce back if something goes wrong. Future you can take action even if present you doesn’t
Definitely! Love this take!
Absolutely relate to so much of this, especially as a full time writer in a very expensive city who has been used to having to always have financial contingency plans (and who doesn't like to cook so has Postmates/Grubhub/all the things on modern day speed dial. For what it's worth, it sounds like you've had lots of things on your plate for a really long time and you're ready for a little spaciousness in your work so perhaps see if you can give yourself some of that. The rest will unfold. Also for what it's worth, I've tried to shift my inner thoughts to "could" instead of "should" ... as in, "my friend wants to hang out, and I could ..." For whatever reason the language helps me make the decision more clearly from the heart in that moment instead of in fear of what it means for the future if I do or don't.
Thanks so much for sharing this! I think you are right--I'm craving a break! xoxo A
dear allison,
another banger!
very resonant! --> "How much should I be preparing for the future versus enjoying the present?"
very funny! --> "Everyone says that no one wishes on their death bed that they worked more, but what if mine is very uncomfortable and filthy because I was reckless?"
very resonant AND funny! --> "Basically, do I let myself enjoy the present or do I push myself to prepare for a future that might not even happen if I suddenly die (or my books become a success)?"
very reasonable (and resonant)! --> "When I think ahead to these next few months, the thing I want most for myself is to not be worried all the time"
thank you for sharing this journey!
love
myq
Thank you Myq!!
I loved Overthinking About You!!!
ahhh that makes me so happy!!
Me too! It's how I discovered your work!!
I loved this newsletter Allison! It really hit a nerve for me, as I navigate starting a corporate job for the first time in my life. This job of course comes with more financial stability that I’ve had in a long time, it also requires me to think about retirement planning already (yea that’s how the German system works haha) but it also leads me to be able to spend more money on fun things that make me happy in the moment. I really loved the balance you struck in the end and I also understood all the thoughts that went into finding tjis balance.
I'm so glad it resonated! Congratulations on the new job!!
Super relate to catastrophizing the future. Thanks for sharing! ❤️
Thanks for reading!!
Usually I have tussled with the idea of my longevity and how it comes to spending my money.
Lately, spending money AND having doordash, etc are luxuries that I hope I don't overuse from outside perspective. Currently the Internet is very viable for me or at least to live a comfortable livelihood - one of which everyone should deserve in this day of age.
We certainty all do deserve that!! Thank you for sharing!
I feel like I know all of this in theory. But like, how do I do it? Live in the present, how do I not worry all the time?
https://www.instagram.com/p/CnbLUZbus5r/
That is the question...that I am still working on! But focusing on actively wanting to change that has been helpful (at least to me!).
Sometimes life is best lived a day at a time.
Agreed!
Loved this. Battle with it myself. Used to be a big live for the moment person and now reigning it in but it's a seesaw
Finding the right balance is the trickiest part! I definitely relate to the seesaw imagery!
This is something I think about a lot!!! I love what you say here: "I can cancel on a friend but reschedule the next week. I can take one day off but not two. I can spend money without spending all my money." Really helps me reframe my own thoughts on this topic :)
I'm so glad it was helpful!! xoxo A
Learn from yesterday, live for today and hope for tomorrow.
Absolute self-discipline does not exist and is not necessary. Do what makes you feel good in the present and feel good in the future.
aint it nice you have the privilege?
i'm 63 and alter-abled from a stroke and have an aspie partner who cooks but is miserable with a broken tooth that they need to sit and fark around for a few hours after giving me a hit but before breakfast.
we've been eating ledtover thai and stale cookies for a week