Alison, I am so sorry. I remember when my mom was diagnosed with ALS- it's different, of course, but I remember the feeling. I was only a teenager (she died when I was 19) and sometimes I think about the way she'd be when she was older and what our relationship might have been like as adults.
She's probably a lot like your mom- as her hand muscles atrophied first, we began to refer to her hand as "the claw." Pretty horrible to an outsider but the girls who get it, get it.
Most people I know who can relate to this sense of parental loss are older. And I am never not jealous of all the time they had that I didn't get.
And then I remember my sisters, who each got far less time than I did. And I am grateful for my 19 years.
I don't think I know what my point is except to say this is shit, and it's never not shit, and it's really complicated so please just approach everyone with so much love and compassion because you're all navigating one of the worst things to happen to y'all. Especially yourself.
I've been following you and Gabe since Buzzfeed and we've grown up together as adults, in a way. And so I just felt compelled to share this with you cause you got me right in the heart with this one, dude.
Sending love to all y'all, and most of all your unfailingly clever and incredibly inspiring mother.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. We also starting referirng to her right arm as "the claw formerly known as arm." Sending so much love, seems like we both both really lucky with our moms even if we don't get as much time.
I don't know what to say that isn't weirdly parasocial or presuming too much - but I also wanted to say that I think this is a beautiful (ongoing!) tribute to your mother, and that I am so sorry to hear about her diagnosis. I had never heard of CJD before, and when I looked it up, I felt consumed by a sense of dread. I can only imagine how overwhelmed you and your family must feel right now. All of the bits of your mother we have gotten to experience over the years as viewers/listeners/readers have been such a beautiful gift - she is funny, she is poised, she is silly, she is confident. One thing that always sticks out to me is the immediate action she and your father took when you were a child. As someone who lost one amazing parent when I was small, and has an estranged relationship with my remaining parent, it felt foreign and confusing to see such a loving family unit in your parents. I hope that it brings you, your mother, and your whole family a small bit of comfort to know that there are strangers out in the world who will think of your mother and smile, laugh, or be awed by her bravery (bravery in the face of your diagnosis as a child, bravery in the face of her diagnosis now). Sending you all light and love. <3
I felt my body numb slightly when I read the title...it so often seems like those of us who love our mom's the most, who have such a deep and loving and necessary relationship with them, who deeply and existentially fear losing them, are the one's who suffer the loss of that relationship too soon. My mom was diagnosed with ALS in my second year of University, and she was gone a year later. There are so many things I wish we had done differently and I can only encourage you to keep honouring your mom's wish, to keep writing, to have these small but extraordinary details held preciously. I can also tell you with confidence, that years from now, you will not forget the essence of Ruth Raskin, you will always carry that with you and be able to feel it whenever you need to. I'm lending you so much strength for the road ahead. Thank you for sharing these beautiful and touching words.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience of holding on. Trying to be grateful for the time I have had. Sending you and your family so much love <3
Dear Alison, I am truly sorry. I hope that you can cherish these great memories and that despite how difficult it is going to be, continue to find joy together
I always envied your great relationship with your mother, not just as a daughter, but because Ruth sounds so smart and fun and kind!
How lucky you are to have such a fantastic, kind, funny woman as a mother and how horrible and awful to be losing her right now. I am sending parasocial love and strength to you and your family x
Dear Alison, I'm so sorry. As a longtime JBU fan, I can see your mom's impact on you in so many ways throughout your career. From the advice you give, to your compassion, to your humor. Ruth is a delight every time you have her on and my heart goes out to your family.
Dear Ruth, Thank you for helping to make Alison the person she is. Her work has meant a lot to me and gotten me through some hard times. You and your family add light to a lot of people's lives.
I’m so sorry to read of this diagnosis. Your mom is clearly so loving, talented and wonderful, and you’re very lucky to have each other, although life is so unfair ❤️
Allison, I’ve followed you and Gabe for years. I’ve laughed, cried, and loved right alongside both of you (plus Melisa now). I’ve always had great admiration for your parents. I’m sorry life is so unfair. Thank you for still letting us peek into your life through your writing - for sharing your parents with us. Sending you so much love.
Oh Allison, so sorry. Thank you so much for sharing not only this, but for sharing your remarkable mom with us listeners through the years. It has been a gift to get to hear and learn about your mom's wit, support, compassion, and strength, and to see how she has passed on so much of who she is to you. There are no words that can make it better, but sending you and your family love for each day and each next step.
What a lovely tribute to your mom... I recently lost mine to lung cancer. You will be so glad as time goes on, that you took the time to write about her and really honor your relationship and what she means to you. Hang in there.
Allison, thank you for this. First, I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I have a fraught relationship with my aging mother. Your beautiful tribute inspired me to start making a list of the good stuff, because it's not all bad (even though it sometimes feels that way).
Alison, I am so sorry. I remember when my mom was diagnosed with ALS- it's different, of course, but I remember the feeling. I was only a teenager (she died when I was 19) and sometimes I think about the way she'd be when she was older and what our relationship might have been like as adults.
She's probably a lot like your mom- as her hand muscles atrophied first, we began to refer to her hand as "the claw." Pretty horrible to an outsider but the girls who get it, get it.
Most people I know who can relate to this sense of parental loss are older. And I am never not jealous of all the time they had that I didn't get.
And then I remember my sisters, who each got far less time than I did. And I am grateful for my 19 years.
I don't think I know what my point is except to say this is shit, and it's never not shit, and it's really complicated so please just approach everyone with so much love and compassion because you're all navigating one of the worst things to happen to y'all. Especially yourself.
I've been following you and Gabe since Buzzfeed and we've grown up together as adults, in a way. And so I just felt compelled to share this with you cause you got me right in the heart with this one, dude.
Sending love to all y'all, and most of all your unfailingly clever and incredibly inspiring mother.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. We also starting referirng to her right arm as "the claw formerly known as arm." Sending so much love, seems like we both both really lucky with our moms even if we don't get as much time.
I don't know what to say that isn't weirdly parasocial or presuming too much - but I also wanted to say that I think this is a beautiful (ongoing!) tribute to your mother, and that I am so sorry to hear about her diagnosis. I had never heard of CJD before, and when I looked it up, I felt consumed by a sense of dread. I can only imagine how overwhelmed you and your family must feel right now. All of the bits of your mother we have gotten to experience over the years as viewers/listeners/readers have been such a beautiful gift - she is funny, she is poised, she is silly, she is confident. One thing that always sticks out to me is the immediate action she and your father took when you were a child. As someone who lost one amazing parent when I was small, and has an estranged relationship with my remaining parent, it felt foreign and confusing to see such a loving family unit in your parents. I hope that it brings you, your mother, and your whole family a small bit of comfort to know that there are strangers out in the world who will think of your mother and smile, laugh, or be awed by her bravery (bravery in the face of your diagnosis as a child, bravery in the face of her diagnosis now). Sending you all light and love. <3
Thank you so much. I'm so glad I've gotten to share her <3
Alison, what a tender love letter to your mother. You two truly deserve one another.
Sending you both love.
Thank you so much <3
I felt my body numb slightly when I read the title...it so often seems like those of us who love our mom's the most, who have such a deep and loving and necessary relationship with them, who deeply and existentially fear losing them, are the one's who suffer the loss of that relationship too soon. My mom was diagnosed with ALS in my second year of University, and she was gone a year later. There are so many things I wish we had done differently and I can only encourage you to keep honouring your mom's wish, to keep writing, to have these small but extraordinary details held preciously. I can also tell you with confidence, that years from now, you will not forget the essence of Ruth Raskin, you will always carry that with you and be able to feel it whenever you need to. I'm lending you so much strength for the road ahead. Thank you for sharing these beautiful and touching words.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience of holding on. Trying to be grateful for the time I have had. Sending you and your family so much love <3
Dear Alison, I am truly sorry. I hope that you can cherish these great memories and that despite how difficult it is going to be, continue to find joy together
I always envied your great relationship with your mother, not just as a daughter, but because Ruth sounds so smart and fun and kind!
I am sending love to all of you 💜💜
Thank you, I really appreciate it.
How lucky you are to have such a fantastic, kind, funny woman as a mother and how horrible and awful to be losing her right now. I am sending parasocial love and strength to you and your family x
Thank you so much <3
Dear Alison, I'm so sorry. As a longtime JBU fan, I can see your mom's impact on you in so many ways throughout your career. From the advice you give, to your compassion, to your humor. Ruth is a delight every time you have her on and my heart goes out to your family.
Dear Ruth, Thank you for helping to make Alison the person she is. Her work has meant a lot to me and gotten me through some hard times. You and your family add light to a lot of people's lives.
Thank you so much. I just read this to her and it meant a lot ❤️
I’m so sorry to read of this diagnosis. Your mom is clearly so loving, talented and wonderful, and you’re very lucky to have each other, although life is so unfair ❤️
Yes I feel both extremely lucky and extremely unlucky at the same time <3
I hear you xo
Allison, I’ve followed you and Gabe for years. I’ve laughed, cried, and loved right alongside both of you (plus Melisa now). I’ve always had great admiration for your parents. I’m sorry life is so unfair. Thank you for still letting us peek into your life through your writing - for sharing your parents with us. Sending you so much love.
Thank you so much <3
Oh Allison, so sorry. Thank you so much for sharing not only this, but for sharing your remarkable mom with us listeners through the years. It has been a gift to get to hear and learn about your mom's wit, support, compassion, and strength, and to see how she has passed on so much of who she is to you. There are no words that can make it better, but sending you and your family love for each day and each next step.
Thank you so much, I shared your kind words with her <3
This is so touching, thank you for sharing a bit of yourself and your lovely mother with us ❤️🩹
Thank you for reading <3
Sending love to you and your family at this awful time. Dark humour has got me through so much xx
Thank you and same <3
So sorry to hear this, Allison. Sending love to you and your family 💜💜💜
Thank you so much <3
What a lovely tribute to your mom... I recently lost mine to lung cancer. You will be so glad as time goes on, that you took the time to write about her and really honor your relationship and what she means to you. Hang in there.
I'm so sorry for your loss. May her memory be a blessing like I know my mom's will be <3
Allison, thank you for this. First, I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I have a fraught relationship with my aging mother. Your beautiful tribute inspired me to start making a list of the good stuff, because it's not all bad (even though it sometimes feels that way).
Oh I'm so glad it helped in any way. <3
Sending you and your family so much love. I will be keeping your mom in my thoughts, she is an incredible woman!