“I don’t have to be one of them in order to be successful or enjoy my life.” Exactly! Unhealthy comparison does nothing good for me. I don’t like that I can’t help but be jealous of people like “that’s how I’m supposed to be” when I don’t even enjoy being like them
“Thinking the best is behind me is not an appealing way to live.” I’ll come back to this list whenever I feel like I’m worrying too much about things that doesn’t exact matter
This!! One of the best parts of getting older and being more comfortable in your own skin is realising what your actual values are, and what you don't give a flying fuck about!
I think the world is changing a little around this too, as I notice some younger people are way more confident in themselves than I was at 17, or 21, or 23! Writers like you who are honest and open about their struggles, the reality of being a person, and having a body play a huge part in this social change. Thank you for making the world a more truthful place! <3
Thank you so much, Kerry!! I get so inspired by other creatives, activists and people in my life! It's exciting to see the change from even when we were growing up! xoxo A
Love this post. Can you share any insight into HOW you stopped judging yourself for the broken engagement? I know it is not my fault that my own engagement crumbled, but it still seems impossible not to blame myself. Thanks.
I haven’t been through this specifically but relate to the judgment tied to past experiences. For me, the first step was to work on the core issue, my self worth. During that process, the “surface issues” (ex: self judgement) would come up in the process. Something that helped a lot was being able to separate my worth from events. It takes time and doesn’t ever ‘go away’, but I’m not a slave to my thoughts anymore. We are not what happened to us. 💖
I agree with a lot of your list, especially topics like stomach problems, being a 'good' person, age and not being seen as 'cool'.
As I near another milestone in my life, my visual art or image hasn't grown as much, yet I've have grown in being kind with myself and only through myself can I get stuff done, work on responsibilities, help others, etc...
I feel this so much! I have loved how much the fear of other judging me or just self conciseness in general has melted away as I get older. Love your posts!
Now that I'm 79, the whole issue of how people react to my disability doesn't matter much to me anymore. I've moved beyond proving myself to others and wonder what a person really is all about instead of the titles he or she has displayed over the years on their name tags.
That preoccupation with titles, assumptions and stereotypes seems parochial to me during the second decade of the 21st Century. I've moved from what an individual does to who he or she is.
Jim Hasse, author, ABC, GCDF retired
"Opening Up" interactive newsletter
36 "Story-guided Discussions for Finding Peace with Age-related Limitations"
“I don’t have to be one of them in order to be successful or enjoy my life.” Exactly! Unhealthy comparison does nothing good for me. I don’t like that I can’t help but be jealous of people like “that’s how I’m supposed to be” when I don’t even enjoy being like them
Such a good point about not even liking being like them! We have to find what works for us not what we think should work! xo A
“Thinking the best is behind me is not an appealing way to live.” I’ll come back to this list whenever I feel like I’m worrying too much about things that doesn’t exact matter
Same tbh!! xoxo A
This!! One of the best parts of getting older and being more comfortable in your own skin is realising what your actual values are, and what you don't give a flying fuck about!
I think the world is changing a little around this too, as I notice some younger people are way more confident in themselves than I was at 17, or 21, or 23! Writers like you who are honest and open about their struggles, the reality of being a person, and having a body play a huge part in this social change. Thank you for making the world a more truthful place! <3
Thank you so much, Kerry!! I get so inspired by other creatives, activists and people in my life! It's exciting to see the change from even when we were growing up! xoxo A
Love this post. Can you share any insight into HOW you stopped judging yourself for the broken engagement? I know it is not my fault that my own engagement crumbled, but it still seems impossible not to blame myself. Thanks.
I haven’t been through this specifically but relate to the judgment tied to past experiences. For me, the first step was to work on the core issue, my self worth. During that process, the “surface issues” (ex: self judgement) would come up in the process. Something that helped a lot was being able to separate my worth from events. It takes time and doesn’t ever ‘go away’, but I’m not a slave to my thoughts anymore. We are not what happened to us. 💖
Thank you Rachel!
I agree with a lot of your list, especially topics like stomach problems, being a 'good' person, age and not being seen as 'cool'.
As I near another milestone in my life, my visual art or image hasn't grown as much, yet I've have grown in being kind with myself and only through myself can I get stuff done, work on responsibilities, help others, etc...
Learning to be kind to yourself is the most important of them all imho! xoxo A
I feel this so much! I have loved how much the fear of other judging me or just self conciseness in general has melted away as I get older. Love your posts!
It's been such a great feeling!! Who knew getting older had such great side effects! xoxo A
Now that I'm 79, the whole issue of how people react to my disability doesn't matter much to me anymore. I've moved beyond proving myself to others and wonder what a person really is all about instead of the titles he or she has displayed over the years on their name tags.
That preoccupation with titles, assumptions and stereotypes seems parochial to me during the second decade of the 21st Century. I've moved from what an individual does to who he or she is.
Jim Hasse, author, ABC, GCDF retired
"Opening Up" interactive newsletter
36 "Story-guided Discussions for Finding Peace with Age-related Limitations"
I love this perspective of shifting away from titles to actions. Thank you so much for sharing!!
Agreed. Life's too short to let unimportant matters rule one's life
Don’t care about list:
-trendy fashion
-being “the best” on my team at work
-how many people comment on my Facebook on my birthday (lol)
hot bitch IBS is a real thing. as a queer person, i firmly believe in talking about it bc trauma and also... i want my poops to be regular idgaf